My husband, Gary, and I went to a great exhibit at The New York Historical (wish they hadn’t dropped the “Society” from their name because what is historical modifying now?  But I digress.)  It was part remind-me-of-what-I always-knew review, and part an eye-opening deeper dive into how our Revolution came to be.  The thought, the angst, the joy, fear, hope, and belief that went into each individual’s complex decisions about whether and how to enter the fray surrounding the lead up to what ultimately became The United States of America is humbling.  When you’re a kid and you learn about our country, you sort of see it as a given, a destiny that was always going to be.  Then you get older and realize that none of it was a given, and you appreciate how lucky we are to have been born into, or moved to such a wonderful, very flawed and wonderful, place.  A country created by an ideal.  Wow.  The appreciation we felt for every one of the people who created this grand experiment as we walked through the exhibit was sometimes overwhelming.  The thought, and reasoning, and understanding, that so many put into seizing the opportunity created by the extreme distress with their current political situation is astounding.  There was so much depth in the understanding of the history, ethics, politics, faith, human nature, cost, practical concerns, you name it, there were people thinking and feeling about it in profound ways.

Experiencing this exhibit led to competing forces making their way up through my gut.  There was the familiar overwhelming and grateful feeling that comes every time I think about the risks, treasure, time, and actual lives that people gave, in part for generations that they would never live to see.   And the sad and sick feeling when looking at the poignant plea by slaves to be allowed just one day per week to labor for themselves, that they might someday be able to buy, yes, purchase, their own, and maybe even their children’s, freedom.  We all know that not all of our history is good, and some of it is downright evil.

But the unfamiliar force that kept trying to make its way into my consciousness, while I unconsciously fought it, was the current absolute and complete degradation of everything that this imperfect union has tried to stand for these 250 years.  Never have we had a president who demonstrates truly no understanding or appreciation of the gifts that those who came before us have given us.  He mocks citizens who have given the last full measure in the name and honor of this great country.  He jokes about blasting a country he illegally invaded a few more times, “just for fun.”  He does not have even an iota of comprehension about what is involved in the human endeavor to use politics to create space for the people to have lives well lived.  The welfare or suffering of people in the country he leads, or in the country he bombs, have no meaning for him.  I thought I might throw up.